Dear Drunk Future Me,
Clearly alcohol lowers our inhibitions and makes us do things we otherwise would not- it's part of why we love the stuff so much. However, I really think our lives will be infinitely easier if, Future Me, you could refrain from any and/or all of the following activities when trashed:
- Making expensive, rambling and pointless drunk dials to the states
- Spilling and or smashing any object in a three foot radius (Just think how unhappy we are that Drunk Past Me busted our brand new camera last weekend. I know we're a klutz but let's try to exercise just the smallest amount of hand eye coordination).
- Making suggestive comments/ sharing inappropriate personal information with the Australian roommates
- Eating literally any and all expensive, greasy and fattening food you can get your hands on (this one especially needs to stop. all that pizza and beer is going to lead to a very pimply and overweight future future Shameless)
If you can follow these guidelines I predict that our future liaison's with le alcohol will be much happier and safer.
Such a stain,