Dear Frankie and Jason the Chiropractors,

Thank you for making my day of hell complete. You waited until the perfect moment, when I was all alone, and then you approached me only to ask "Hey, what's your friend's name? Is she involved with anyone? And does she have any illegitmate children?" Take my advice, if you wanna get in good, don't make it so obvious that you are bypassing me and going for my friend. You are both old, balding, and have a twisted obsession with the back.

Keep your back breaking man hands away from me,
Mo