Dear God,

I know, I know, you are omnipotent and omniscient, and I'm a peon. My minuscule human mind cannot comprehend your plans or powers. But if you could just throw me a frickin bone here and help me understand WHY you would set in my path my soulmate, but make him be engaged?!?, I would appreciate it. I mean, really. People say that everything happens for a reason. But what possible reason could you have for having me meet the one truly perfect person for me, minus that whole fiance aspect? What am I gaining from this, aside from sheer torture of my soul, a devastating blow to my ego/self-esteem, and the inability to believe I will ever find anyone who loves me, that I love, that isn't a douche? Not to mention the inability to concentrate on my job... Sure, *HE* gets the chance to affirm that his g/f is the one he wants to marry, the chance to set aside all doubts by getting to compare and contrast me to her (like I'm the effing SAT or something). But me? I get shit nothing but heartache.

And while I'm at it, what the crap is up with the white hairs I've been finding this year? I am far too young for this! Is this because I'm Lutheran? Like, several centuries late justice against ol' Martin for rocking the boat? Seriously.

Feeling like a Huguenot in 16th Century France (i.e. persecuted here, thanks),
R

PS Thank you for tonight's new low in my life, whereupon I actively tried to throw up in a restaurant bathroom despite not suffering from the flu. And *failed*.

PPS And thank you for making it so I need to start getting to work at 7:30 every morning, I really love that one like I love salt in the ol' wounds.

PPPS Yes, bitter is the new black.