Dear Dad slash Miser:

You are rich. Don't offer to buy my plane ticket home for Christmas and then immediatly follow it up with, "And that would be your Christmas gift." a) I didn't ask you to do that and b) that would have been fine but since you SAID it, it hurts my feelings and makes me wonder why I'm not worth $300 (and must be reminded of this fact) when you just almost bought a $45,000 entertainment system. And told me about it. And your new children expect Iphones and laptops and are not even double digits old. And you, new wife, and her diamonds go to Hawaii, New Orleans, or California every 3rd day.

Sorry I came from the wrong womb,
b

PS btw, bitter is the new black, and it's free. Looks like you got me another Christmas gift after all 'cause I'm wearing a shit ton of it. Jerkface.